Dream Diary

I remember a LOT of my dreams. I've had many, MANY dreams that at first glance seemed completely off the wall. I've kissed vampires who disappeared into thin air when the sun came out, and been rescued from murderous redcoats by fellow history students. I've been eaten by patchwork ladybugs and jumped out of moving cars, been pregnant and been a man. The things I've done in my dreams often don't make any sense to me at all. I wake up all the time saying to myself, "What the hell was that?"

But when I really look at them closely, I usually find a lot of meaning in my dreams. Sometimes, the meanings are very obvious. Once, a friend was moving, and in my dream I was giving her a hug, knowing I would never see her again, and that I had to let her go. That one was pretty obvious. But some are a little more obscure. Once, I had a dream that I was in a music store, listening to a sample of the recently released Sondheim version of "The Wall" (from Pink Floyd, whom I LOVE). I despised the CD and I wanted to return it. Although the entire album had not been redone by Sondheim, it was enough to be terrible--a real disgrace to my favorite band. I didn't really realize it until I had written down all of the components of the dream and what they meant to me separately, but once I did, it was very clear to me. My ex-boyfriend loved Sondheim, and I loved Pink Floyd--each of those were us. I couldn't stand what I had become because of him, and I wanted to take it back, because I regretted that entire section of my life. As I defined each component of my dream, everything became completely obvious.

I try to break down the components of my dreams, and lately, they've been a bit chaotic. I won't try to describe last night's dream, because it's long, convaluted, and messy, but it meant to me that I've been trying to do something nice and selfless for someone I care about, but I keep getting interrupted with other obligations. I AM getting some things accomplished, but what I really WANT to do gets pushed aside, even though its not just for me, its for others as well. Life just keeps getting in the way, because life is chaos.

I think that my subconscious hit the nail on the head.